Thursday, 24 May 2012
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do we have different capacities for tolerance for different people. account for this. i am imagining this to be a 15 mark essay question
how about strangers
does everyone start off equal
objectively i would like to say yes but it is likely in reality the answer is no because if you are 'good looking' you get more tolerance because human beings are naturally superficial. am i right to say that
seems really unfair though
i have found some good looking people to be extremely annoying and they wear my tolerance thinner than a layer of butter on toast
the more serious question now is
am i going to be late for school
just did something like really extremely retarded
Sunday, 20 May 2012
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i pwn ali at dance dance revolution
re secondary school days i guess what i 'miss' most is being in close proximity with the people whose company i enjoy best
just spent close to an hour laughing really hard with yuan and varsha over whatsapp reminiscing the epic shit that happened
may not speak of those days much/ match the enthusiasm levels when others speak of their sec school days but those years were special indeed. for all the people who i did stupid shit with, trying to ride the 'yolo'-waves at 13/14
i think we were pretty damn awesome
Friday, 18 May 2012
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burden
react in a certain manner not because i really feel that way but rather out of habit as my body remembers
heart, please be clear ha ha ha
Thursday, 17 May 2012
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you used to have all the answers
existential crisis part infinity. it is a joke, i think of it as a 'teenage feeling', to feel low and sad and lousy and unworthy of existing.
(these exist in my head only. it is all me conjuring up false things because i have nothing better to do. it is so lame i am so lame i should stop it)
the worst thing is when you are on the verge of spilling, of exploding but not at that specific point yet. like a hair away from the maximum mark, sitting on the verge of the verge
listening to the xx now. sorry to future self if you are reading this
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
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of monsters and men
i feel like i cannot feel properly. i find myself perched in the awkward in-between, in the middle of two extremes. nothing cuts quite deep enough but i possess the knowledge that this should matter, that this, perhaps, should generate negative feelings but all it does is fire blanks attempting to shock me. it amounts to nothing because i am still this person in this version.
tonight i am giving off 'bad vibes', an accumulation of 'not-ok' situations from the day.
created a playlist titled: you are in the countryside. the songs feel like a remedy
i just want to feel ok really
i want to feel ok
i want to feel ok
i want
i want
Sunday, 13 May 2012
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everything goes away
always gold - radical face
i am in love with this song. on repeat for four days and counting -
loneliness can be solitude but
solitude is not loneliness
loneliness is solitude weaved with emptiness. you cannot take away the emptiness from loneliness and still label it loneliness.
how can you turn loneliness into a positive thing when it is a single entity on its own
Tuesday, 08 May 2012
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avengers was a good movie
been having a string of above-average days but i can make out the end of this thread and i don't know what is ahead
i feel like a lot of things are changing and are going to change and i am struggling to hold on to them but my hands are full and things slip off
the problem is i cannot pick up everything i drop
what if i destroy every single clock and watch in the world. everyone will break out in pandemonium and then maybe time will stop and there will be a way out of this
Tuesday, 01 May 2012
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mostly i feel bad about life because i am not up to standard in so many aspects and also the expectations around set by myself which i fail to meet
this constitutes to levels of inadequacy capable of consuming my mind. and i let this happen perhaps too easily
training was not very good, felt bad re it but dinner after that at lagoon hawker centre with the girls made up for it. mimicked various laughters and laughed very hard at ali. these people are retarded but i like it
i hope man united loses tonight. you must understand this is a bitter sore loser liverpool fan here. recently i find myself missing the days when i was a football fanatic very much. idk, feels like the excitement then was real and exciting and enriching.
idk how but yeah enriching i was very much enriched
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whathecake.
hi my name is Candia it is nice to meet you.
